By the Way...

Right now, I'm sitting in my living room, rereading my blog in anticipation of my return to China. I've been emailing back and forth with my new supervisor these past few days, which has kind of gotten me back into the mindset of China life. I am having an amazing summer career-wise (find out more here), with my family/friends, and with my one true love, food, that it will be hard for me to return. I would seriously consider staying in the US for longer, but I know once I'm back in China I'll be happy that I returned. But basically, I'm feeling a bit sad about leaving the US. Hence: reading through my blog.

In doing so, I realized that I totally forgot to tell you that I figured out the lyrics to my students' twice daily outdoors exercise routine!!!!!! 

Twice-daily exercises look like this...

Here is the original post, from October 2012...

A little Wednesday treat for you:

Every morning and afternoon, the students of Nanda Fu Zhong do their outdoor exercises and it's really a sight to see. Unfortunately, YOU CAN'T SEE IT because blogger is not permitting me to upload the video. However, I will share with you my own lyrics to this exercise song. It is in Chinese and it gets stuck in my head with alarming frequency, so I have created my own English version so that I can sing along. It begins... "I've been around the world, haven't any pearls" but climaxes with this lyrical chorus:

Ay ay ay there are noodles in the sky

I like to eat them
bottles in the sky

Ay ay ay I'm a dragon in disguise

in magazines and

bottles in the sky

ayayayayayayayayay, ay hunters eat some pie
ayayayayayayayayay, ay Christmas in July

Pure poetry. More soon, I promise. China Doll

Excellent, right?

So here's the thing: the song is actually in English. MIND BLOWN!

Interested=Piqued

It's called Butterfly*. It's by SMILE.dk. It's weird. Here are the actual lyrics:

I'm searching for a man
All across Japan
Just to find
To find my samurai

Someone who is strong
But still a little shy
Yes I need
I need my samurai

Ai yai yai
I'm your little butterfly
Green black and blue make the colors in the sky

Ai yai yai
I'm your little butterfly
Green black and blue make the colors in the sky

I'm searching in the woods
And high upon the hills
Just to find
To find my samurai

Someone who won't regret
To keep me in his net
Yes I need
I need my samurai

Then it's just Ai yai yai over and over again, alternating "Where's my samurai?" with "Little butterfly." Interestingly, the link I used via youtube has lyrics that are MUCH clearer than the version NDFZ used in the exercises. I assume what I heard was a Chinese cover.

Anyway, mystery solved. No dragons in the sky, just colors in the sky. Much less exciting. China Doll is disappointed.

*FYI, if you can't make it through the whole youtube video, the two girls get abducted by a butterfly-shaped UFO with two buff Asian guys. Just sayin.

Be In the Know

Check out this article from Buzzfeed to learn a few of the things it took me a few months to learn while living in China... Plus, I've created my own corresponding comments and photos :)

1. "Don't stick your chopsticks upright in your rice"

Do the right thing. Balance those chopsticks.

I say, don't even risk it. Never stick your chopstick upright, ever! Rice, noodles, soup, anything! I always balance them on the edge of my bowl as a habit.

2. "If you're offered a gift, refuse it a couple times"

Like my red scarf? A gift from my students.

This is a lot easier said than done, because in the US I would feel rude refusing a gift a few times. But as a teacher, I've received an insane amount of gifts, mostly concentrated around Christmas and the end of school, which made it hard to refuse because people were literally piling them into our arms. Some gifts were easy to refuse, like the tiny white box shaped like a crucifix that said "Christ" in curly pink letters. Or a super creepy doll piggy bank.

I've found that instead of refusing (which I haven't quite mastered) that instead, I'll say things like "I can't accept this, you're too kind" or "This looks too expensive" or "This is so lovely I really don't deserve this." Maybe I'll perfect it next year?

3. "Same thing with compliments"

Yea, I do this anyway in the US. I've tried accepting compliments, even if (I like to think) it's true. But compliments just make me feel uncomfortable.

4. "The Chinese population is gradually declining"

 (Pre-2008) and (Post-2008)

5. "Eating dog is becoming increasingly unpopular"

Yes, though I do know a foreign friend who accidentally ordered dog. And ate it.

6. Breathing in Beijing air is not as bad as you might think"

Beihai Park in Beijing. Pollution who? Amiright?

7. "The one child policy does not apply to everyone"

Not only does the one child policy not apply to everyone (because minorities can have more than 1 child) but also wealthy people can pay to have a second child. It is my understanding that they have to demonstrate enough wealth to afford a second child, plus they need enough money to "convince" officials that they should have a second child, "convince" meaning "pay off." This is just what a Chinese friend told me, so I'm no expert. But that's what I heard along the grapevine.

SO. MANY. CHILDREN.

8. "China is not technically a communist country"

Yerp. That's correct. I have no personal photo that corresponds.

9. "Ask a Chinese person how to access blocked websites"

Or ask me. I use an Astrill VPN (or Virtual Private Network) to access Facebook, Youtube, even IMDB is blocked in China...

10. "Chinese people don't speak Chinese"

Me neither!

Although I was able to speak enough Chinese
to buy some string for my macrame bracelets

11. "You won't necessarily be the tallest person in the room"

Unless you're in a room of children!

12. "Each Chinese character [is] not an individual word"

Chinese is not just an ideographic language, it's so much more complicated than that... Reading and writing is my least favorite part of learning Chinese, but I do it anyway!

A glimpse at my Chinese notebook

13. "No one in space will be able to see you on the Great Wall"

Good thing too.
No astronauts could see my awkward selfie

14. "There is a chance you will have to use a squat toilet at some point. Don't be afraid"

No. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

15. "Explore beyond Shanghai and Beijing"

Absolutely! I got to see a few places, but there are sooo many more I want to see...

Wuxi at sunset

16. "The Chinese food you're used to eating in the USA/Europe is probably not real Chinese food"

Because Chinese food in China is SO MUCH BETTER!

Did that seem gratuitous? Good.

17. "If you feel the need to burp or stare. it's most likely okay"

HELLZ YA.

18. "English is becoming more common"

HELLZ NAH.

Bargaining. In Chinese. In a huge alleyway.
Outside a famous Beijing shopping street.
Because she didn't speak English.

And one more fun photo for good measure. Holes in pants for babies is a real thing! Really!

LOOK AT THAT BABY BUTT

` 

Woes of a Jet Lagged Doll

OK, I lied. I will still update the blog from time to time, mostly because my two biggest fans (read: parents) insist that "people" are still interested in what I have to say. People, of course, being good ol' Ma and Pop. So this one goes out to you, my dear parents.

Jet lag, ahhh, jet lag. I've travelled the world, yet I've never experienced true jet lag. I was beginning to think that jet lag was like Big Foot or Ol' Nessie of Lochness Monster fame: I believe that other people believe it exists, but do I? Could I? I was not a believer.

Yes, I used to fall asleep a mere hour earlier upon returning to Grinnell, and yes, I was a bit sleepy after my two weeks in Israel and my six months in Europe. But those weren't enough for me to believe jet lag exists. It was not until I returned from China and experienced the eye socket wrenching drowsiness, almost coma-like exhaustion at all hours of the night and day, that I began to suspect jet lag is a very real and very dangerous beast.

I kept a small diary of the jet lag/culture shock woes. Here are my unabridged and rambling thoughts that ran through my head the first week (or so) I was home:

6.16 6:08 pm - Bottled water is expensive!
6.16 6:10 pm - Chocolate and peanut butter were made for each other!
6.16 12:42 am - American beds feel like they're stuffed with fluffy bunnies compared to the cement blocks on which Chinese people sleep!
6.17 7:15 am - Macaroni and cheese can be eaten at any time, and it's always delicious!
6.17 7:56 am - I don't have to turn on my VPN as soon as I turn on my computer!
6.17 11:30 am - I LOVE driving!
6.17 11:45 am - Water comes complimentary at restaurants. Nice!
6.17 12:45 pm - Tipping is customary. My brother saved me from walking out the door without leaving a tip...
6.17 1:40 pm - Jet lag is real!?!?!?! THE HORROR!!!
6.17 1:42 pm - My bed actually feels like a magical cotton cloud!
6.17 2:45 pm - Snooze button, I'd tap that.
6.17 3:55 pm - "Briel, didn't you say you were only going to take an hour long nap? You won't be able to sleep tonight!" -my mom
6.17 6:45 pm - My mom is the best cook ever. I forgot about feta, mozarella, fresh basil, and steak!
6.17 8:45 pm - Laundry can be dried with a magical, clothes drying machine that makes your clothes feel like warm puffs of air!
6.17 9:03 pm - Soooo sleepyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
6.17 9:16 pm - Being force fed iced coffee to stay awake
6.17 11:20 pm - SO AWAKE. SO JITTERY. MAN OH MAN! 

7.17 11:55 pm - GO TO BED, BODY!

7.18 12:40 am - SERIOUSLY, GO TO BED

7.18 1:03 am - FALL ASLEEP... NOW! OK, that didn't work. Count sheep? Listen to the sounds of waves? Yoga? WHAT WILL SOOTHE YOU, SAVAGE JET LAG?
6.18 6:03 am - Go back to bed
6.18 7:56 am - Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
6.18 8:45 am - The air outside is so clean and lovely! I don't feel like I'm inhaling black smoke as I go for my (semi-not-at-all-daily) run!

6.18 9:03 am - BUNNIES! SQUIRRELS! BIRDS!

6.18 12:05 pm - What is this ATM machine, and what does it want from me?
6.18 12:06 pm - The card... came out immediately before I took out my money? I don't need to stand around and wait for the ATM to spit out my card? What?
6.18 12:06 pm - My money came out in $20 bills, not $100 bills? (Chinese Yuan comes out in hundreds...)
6.18 12:06 pm - WHERE IS MY CARD?! Oh wait, it already came out... (this may seem inconsequntial, but there were two cards lost because of this confusion...)
6.19 6:05 pm - My sister: "Why aren't you bringing your license out to dinner?" me: "I'm not driving anywhere?" "Aren't you... going out for drinks afterward?" Alcohol requires ID. Oh yea. That sounds familiar. 6.20 5:39 am - Seriously, it's been five days. Why am I still waking up at 5 am? 

Notice all the exclamation points. I felt like a newborn baby experiencing things for the first time. Or rather, I felt like someone who had been away for a long time who had returned home to all these wonderful and familiar things. Oh wait...

I've definitely experienced "reverse culture shock" since I've been home, but it's not a long drawn out thing. It's more like little moments of me remembering how things are different here, being reminded of how things are in China, but then reverting back to my American mindset. I almost say 谢谢 instead of thank you. I almost cross the street in the middle of oncoming traffic instead of obeying the pedestrian laws. Stuff like that.

After three weeks of being home, I am settling into my routines. And no, I'm not jet lagged anymore. But as for the existence of Big Foot and the Lochness Monster, maybe it's time for China Doll to reconsider?

Retrospect

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." -Soren Kierkegaard

I first heard that quote when I was ten years old, but it's stuck with me all these years. When I think back to where I was one year ago today, five years ago today, ten years ago today, it's hard to believe I am where I am. However, it also makes a lot of sense. I can't decide whether it's easier for me to count the ways I've changed over the past year or to count the ways I've stayed the same. I have done a lot of both. All I know is that it will be even easier to look back once another year has gone. At this point, I'm still unable to process these past few months

But for the sake of my dear readers, I'll give it a shot!

The most obvious thing I think I've gained this year, other than PERSPECTIVE! and CHINESE LANGUAGE SKILLS! and WORLDLINESS! is patience. Patience is a virtue with which I've never particularly struggled, but I didn't realize how impatient I was until I got to China. The reason I never perceived impatience as one of my (many) personality quirks is because I'm not impatient about when a movie will come out or when the cake will be done baking or when the iPhone 12 comes out. I'm impatient about my future. I'm always fussing about what I'll be doing next, making to-do lists in my head, worrying about this summer, next year, five years from now, ten years from now. I'm always worrying about being on time, so I get impatient and I leave my house way earlier than necessary. I'm terrible about stopping, and don't even get me started on smelling the roses. China has made me more patient because things aren't as planned out as I want them to be. I have to wait to find out when my vacations day are, what classes I'm teaching next year, and where I will be living. It requires a certain element of flying by the seat of my pants that I did not possess upon arrival. China has made me an incredibly patient person.

Patience also comes from being a teacher. Teaching the same lessons over and over again requires patience. Students who are struggling require patience. Students who send you 3-4 emails a day with questions require patience. Patience is a teacher's best and most-utilized tool.

And of course, language barriers always require patience, as does living in an environment in which the people have vastly different beliefs on matters I consider to be incredibly important, like gender, freedom, and race. China requires patience in all kinds of situations, which is something I expected, but could never really comprehended until I was actually here.

In retrospect, I'm happy with my time here and I'm really excited to come back to China for another year. However, I am also thrilled that I'll be home in the US so soon! China Doll lands at LGA this Saturday night. At that point, this blog will (understandably) go on hiatus, until I can start blogging about my return. So don't forget about me, dear readers! China Doll'll be back real soon!!!!!

When You're 23...

My birthday in China was totally awesome. Even though the rainy weather ruined my plans to go to Xuanwu Lake, I still had a wonderful day. I got a great massage then went out to dinner at an amazing Italian restaurant (I would argue it’s the best Western restaurant in Nanjing) and the owner gave us free champagne. Afterward, we did KTV karaoke and I may or may not have come home close to sunrise. Of course, we sang “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink 182… nobody likes you when you’re 23… I hope that’s not true.

Natalie and Lela

Singing "Lady Marmalade"

I'm not a huge impulse buyer (except when it comes to clothes, of course) but my friend has a Polaroid camera and it's awesome so... I bought myself one!

Champagne

Drake and Liz at KTV

Somehow many of my students learned it was my birthday, so they were sweet and gave me cards and one even gave me a little gift! It's a little stuffed animal keychain. She told me it was named "number 7" (七号) because it's from a cartoon TV show? Whatever. It was so sweet.

The Monday after my birthday, the officials at NDFZ had a fancy going away/birthday lunch for me (and Sophie.) Fang Laoshi bought me an enormous, extremely heavy cake. How do I know it’s so heavy? Because I held it for what felt like hours through all the ceremonial pictures that were taken after I blew out the candles.

The cake

All I wanted was one picture!

Then we took a thousand

Then a vice principal thought this background would be nicer
(me and my tutor)

My cheeks (face-cheeks, of course) were a lot of pain

Cake and crayfish, a delicious combination!
Not.

The meal was incredibly delicious, and since Sophie and I were the guests of honor, food kept magically appearing on our plates as the officials kept encouraging us to eat more. This became a problem at the end of the meal (after the cake) when the final “soup” came out (sometimes its noodle soup, I’ve also had mushroom soup.) At first, the waitresses passed by me and gave the small noodle bowls to everyone else. I breathed a sigh of relief. Little did I know that I had been passed over because I was getting a giant bowl of “long life” noodles, a Chinese tradition in which the birthday girl or boy finishes a large bowl of noodles so that they can live a long and healthy life. I only at a few of my noodles, I hope that’s not a bad omen!

Long life noodles

Our banquet table

Me, Fang Laoshi, Sophie

In China, newborns are considered to be 1 years old, so technically by Chinese standards I’m 24. So, a very Happy 23^rd/24^th Birthday to me!

Can Someone Explain Why...

... Dawei (David) is going to buy a sweater at the Playboy store?

大卫要买一件毛衣

That 售货员 knows how it is. What is up with my Chinese textbook?

Bonus photo:

Qi Laoshi and me, last day of class

Right after this photo was taken, her adorable son busted into the classroom on a tricycle. 我是一个好学生！

Rise and Shine (and more adorable stories)

I cannot believe I have yet to mention the English training center, RISE, where I have been working since December. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I think small children are cuter than anything in the world (yes, even cuter than cats or sloths) and they, inexplicably, love me... even when we don't speak the same language!

Working at RISE has been really fun. I regularly co-teach two classes a week, but I also serve as the guest foreign teacher for different classes throughout the month. As I understand it, parents can sign their children up for classes with the foreign teacher every week, or with Chinese teachers that have a "guest foreign teacher" once or twice a month.

Being the guest teacher is a little stressful because I never know what we're doing. Lesson planning is not part of the gig, as I understand it, although I think some teachers believe differently. The full time teacher usually prepares something for me to do with them, for little kids it's learning letters or numbers for older kids it's anything from reading a book to learning about exotic animals. However, there are a few occasions when they gave me something totally above the head of my students, and that's hard to handle. One time I came in and they asked me to use a complex powerpoint about Easter (that said things like "This is the day on which Christ has risen") to teach 3 year olds who barely know their own name, one of whom (aptly named Miffy) who is so deathly afraid of me and my unintelligible language that she cries when I walk in the room.

Every week, I teach two English classes with the same teacher, and she's awesome. Since I've worked there for so many months now, I know the schedule well. I come in and the kids are watching a cartoon for their ten minute break. It would make sense for them to watch a cartoon in English, but for some reason the kids at RISE almost exclusively watch "Tom and Jerry" (no language required) or Dora the Explorer (which is partly in... Spanish.) I hang out with them for a few minutes, before we start the lesson. I come in after they have already been in class for an hour, so we use this time to review. They can choose "Worker Bee House" which involves doing a worksheet or "Word Found House" (which for the longest time I thought was called "Word Fun House," like a carnival funhouse or something) where they use small laminated paper with cutout letters to spell words that they've learned. Afterward, we play a review game (which I am often learning alongside them) and then we sing the good-bye song. The good-bye song is obnoxious and catchy and I hate it and I love it.

Of course, now that I'm leaving for the summer, I finally feel like I got the hang of working at Rise. Good thing I plan on coming back when I return to China! I like working there because I think the other teachers are great and because the kids are so completely adorable. But don't take my word for it! Here is solid, irrefutable proof that these kids are the funniest little rascals... ever.

Fanny. Doesn't speak English. Doesn't matter.

It's important to learn about patterns!

Coco. She has the highest cutest voice ever!

Leo. Extremely misbehaved, but still cute.

Typical Chinese children's poses.

Blurry, but you get the picture!

Bob. That's all.

I thought Jerry wanted to take a selfie with me (I see parents do it with their kids all the time) because he kept trying to kiss me. I then realized he was actually trying to transfer the chewed donut from his mouth into mine.
Ew.

I tried to get a picture of Neil smiling, because
he is possibly the cutest child in the entire world.
But he is extremely camera shy.

Personality shot? From left: Apple is distracted, poor Eva is eclipsed by Apple even though Eva is the bomb.com, Bob, Charles, and Neil are being goofy, Jerry has a great idea, and I'm in the back just grinning because I have no idea WTF is going on.

In other adorable news, my high school students just did their final oral exams for my class. For the younger kids, their spoken exam was an edited version of "Show and Tell." It was a great experience because a) I got to grade them on their spoken English rather than their written English and b) some of them brought in the cutest things. Chinese teenagers are so different than American teenagers because they have different perceptions of what is "cool" or "uncool." I would say 75% of my students brought in toy stuffed animals for "Show and Tell," likely because they still play with them and think they're cute at age 15. I was so disappointed when my students forgot to bring something from home and instead shared their white out tape or bike keys, claiming it had sentimental value, but most of my kids went above and beyond and I got to learn more about them!

Yesterday was my last day at Rise, today is my last day of Chinese class, and next week is my last full week of class. On the one hand, things feel like they're wrapping up because I go home soon, but on the other hand, I'm coming back... so I'm not too sad. More as this story develops...