Be In the Know

Check out this article from Buzzfeed to learn a few of the things it took me a few months to learn while living in China... Plus, I've created my own corresponding comments and photos :)

1. "Don't stick your chopsticks upright in your rice"

Do the right thing. Balance those chopsticks.

I say, don't even risk it. Never stick your chopstick upright, ever! Rice, noodles, soup, anything! I always balance them on the edge of my bowl as a habit.

2. "If you're offered a gift, refuse it a couple times"

Like my red scarf? A gift from my students.

This is a lot easier said than done, because in the US I would feel rude refusing a gift a few times. But as a teacher, I've received an insane amount of gifts, mostly concentrated around Christmas and the end of school, which made it hard to refuse because people were literally piling them into our arms. Some gifts were easy to refuse, like the tiny white box shaped like a crucifix that said "Christ" in curly pink letters. Or a super creepy doll piggy bank.

I've found that instead of refusing (which I haven't quite mastered) that instead, I'll say things like "I can't accept this, you're too kind" or "This looks too expensive" or "This is so lovely I really don't deserve this." Maybe I'll perfect it next year?

3. "Same thing with compliments"

Yea, I do this anyway in the US. I've tried accepting compliments, even if (I like to think) it's true. But compliments just make me feel uncomfortable.

4. "The Chinese population is gradually declining"

 (Pre-2008) and (Post-2008)

5. "Eating dog is becoming increasingly unpopular"

Yes, though I do know a foreign friend who accidentally ordered dog. And ate it.

6. Breathing in Beijing air is not as bad as you might think"

Beihai Park in Beijing. Pollution who? Amiright?

7. "The one child policy does not apply to everyone"

Not only does the one child policy not apply to everyone (because minorities can have more than 1 child) but also wealthy people can pay to have a second child. It is my understanding that they have to demonstrate enough wealth to afford a second child, plus they need enough money to "convince" officials that they should have a second child, "convince" meaning "pay off." This is just what a Chinese friend told me, so I'm no expert. But that's what I heard along the grapevine.

SO. MANY. CHILDREN.

8. "China is not technically a communist country"

Yerp. That's correct. I have no personal photo that corresponds.

9. "Ask a Chinese person how to access blocked websites"

Or ask me. I use an Astrill VPN (or Virtual Private Network) to access Facebook, Youtube, even IMDB is blocked in China...

10. "Chinese people don't speak Chinese"

Me neither!

Although I was able to speak enough Chinese
to buy some string for my macrame bracelets

11. "You won't necessarily be the tallest person in the room"

Unless you're in a room of children!

12. "Each Chinese character [is] not an individual word"

Chinese is not just an ideographic language, it's so much more complicated than that... Reading and writing is my least favorite part of learning Chinese, but I do it anyway!

A glimpse at my Chinese notebook

13. "No one in space will be able to see you on the Great Wall"

Good thing too.
No astronauts could see my awkward selfie

14. "There is a chance you will have to use a squat toilet at some point. Don't be afraid"

No. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

15. "Explore beyond Shanghai and Beijing"

Absolutely! I got to see a few places, but there are sooo many more I want to see...

Wuxi at sunset

16. "The Chinese food you're used to eating in the USA/Europe is probably not real Chinese food"

Because Chinese food in China is SO MUCH BETTER!

Did that seem gratuitous? Good.

17. "If you feel the need to burp or stare. it's most likely okay"

HELLZ YA.

18. "English is becoming more common"

HELLZ NAH.

Bargaining. In Chinese. In a huge alleyway.
Outside a famous Beijing shopping street.
Because she didn't speak English.

And one more fun photo for good measure. Holes in pants for babies is a real thing! Really!

LOOK AT THAT BABY BUTT

` 

Woes of a Jet Lagged Doll

OK, I lied. I will still update the blog from time to time, mostly because my two biggest fans (read: parents) insist that "people" are still interested in what I have to say. People, of course, being good ol' Ma and Pop. So this one goes out to you, my dear parents.

Jet lag, ahhh, jet lag. I've travelled the world, yet I've never experienced true jet lag. I was beginning to think that jet lag was like Big Foot or Ol' Nessie of Lochness Monster fame: I believe that other people believe it exists, but do I? Could I? I was not a believer.

Yes, I used to fall asleep a mere hour earlier upon returning to Grinnell, and yes, I was a bit sleepy after my two weeks in Israel and my six months in Europe. But those weren't enough for me to believe jet lag exists. It was not until I returned from China and experienced the eye socket wrenching drowsiness, almost coma-like exhaustion at all hours of the night and day, that I began to suspect jet lag is a very real and very dangerous beast.

I kept a small diary of the jet lag/culture shock woes. Here are my unabridged and rambling thoughts that ran through my head the first week (or so) I was home:

6.16 6:08 pm - Bottled water is expensive!
6.16 6:10 pm - Chocolate and peanut butter were made for each other!
6.16 12:42 am - American beds feel like they're stuffed with fluffy bunnies compared to the cement blocks on which Chinese people sleep!
6.17 7:15 am - Macaroni and cheese can be eaten at any time, and it's always delicious!
6.17 7:56 am - I don't have to turn on my VPN as soon as I turn on my computer!
6.17 11:30 am - I LOVE driving!
6.17 11:45 am - Water comes complimentary at restaurants. Nice!
6.17 12:45 pm - Tipping is customary. My brother saved me from walking out the door without leaving a tip...
6.17 1:40 pm - Jet lag is real!?!?!?! THE HORROR!!!
6.17 1:42 pm - My bed actually feels like a magical cotton cloud!
6.17 2:45 pm - Snooze button, I'd tap that.
6.17 3:55 pm - "Briel, didn't you say you were only going to take an hour long nap? You won't be able to sleep tonight!" -my mom
6.17 6:45 pm - My mom is the best cook ever. I forgot about feta, mozarella, fresh basil, and steak!
6.17 8:45 pm - Laundry can be dried with a magical, clothes drying machine that makes your clothes feel like warm puffs of air!
6.17 9:03 pm - Soooo sleepyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
6.17 9:16 pm - Being force fed iced coffee to stay awake
6.17 11:20 pm - SO AWAKE. SO JITTERY. MAN OH MAN! 

7.17 11:55 pm - GO TO BED, BODY!

7.18 12:40 am - SERIOUSLY, GO TO BED

7.18 1:03 am - FALL ASLEEP... NOW! OK, that didn't work. Count sheep? Listen to the sounds of waves? Yoga? WHAT WILL SOOTHE YOU, SAVAGE JET LAG?
6.18 6:03 am - Go back to bed
6.18 7:56 am - Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
6.18 8:45 am - The air outside is so clean and lovely! I don't feel like I'm inhaling black smoke as I go for my (semi-not-at-all-daily) run!

6.18 9:03 am - BUNNIES! SQUIRRELS! BIRDS!

6.18 12:05 pm - What is this ATM machine, and what does it want from me?
6.18 12:06 pm - The card... came out immediately before I took out my money? I don't need to stand around and wait for the ATM to spit out my card? What?
6.18 12:06 pm - My money came out in $20 bills, not $100 bills? (Chinese Yuan comes out in hundreds...)
6.18 12:06 pm - WHERE IS MY CARD?! Oh wait, it already came out... (this may seem inconsequntial, but there were two cards lost because of this confusion...)
6.19 6:05 pm - My sister: "Why aren't you bringing your license out to dinner?" me: "I'm not driving anywhere?" "Aren't you... going out for drinks afterward?" Alcohol requires ID. Oh yea. That sounds familiar. 6.20 5:39 am - Seriously, it's been five days. Why am I still waking up at 5 am? 

Notice all the exclamation points. I felt like a newborn baby experiencing things for the first time. Or rather, I felt like someone who had been away for a long time who had returned home to all these wonderful and familiar things. Oh wait...

I've definitely experienced "reverse culture shock" since I've been home, but it's not a long drawn out thing. It's more like little moments of me remembering how things are different here, being reminded of how things are in China, but then reverting back to my American mindset. I almost say 谢谢 instead of thank you. I almost cross the street in the middle of oncoming traffic instead of obeying the pedestrian laws. Stuff like that.

After three weeks of being home, I am settling into my routines. And no, I'm not jet lagged anymore. But as for the existence of Big Foot and the Lochness Monster, maybe it's time for China Doll to reconsider?