She's Back!

SHE’S BACK!

That’s right boy and girls, your favorite rambling, hyper-observant China Doll has returned to the place where it all began: Nanjing, China.

I will be teaching oral English at Hohai Univeristy, one of the many colleges in Nanjing. I live about fifteen minutes walking distance from where I lived last year, so even though I do not know this specific area terribly well; the areas I do know are not so far away.

China Doll has not had the easiest of transitions this time around. Last year, any homesickness or disgust was masked by excitement and newness. Since I had already lived here, I expected to feel fully moved in and ready to go as soon as I arrived, which was, of course, not the case. My university apartment needed a lot of hardcore cleaning (I wish I had taken before and after pictures, it was insane.) I’ve also killed, well, let’s be honest, had someone else kill four roaches so far. Even though I have sheets and more furniture now, I still need to go to Ikea for kitchen supplies… and then furniture on which to keep those supplies. Right now, I don’t think about much else than getting food into the apartment (but away from the cockroaches) so that I don’t have to worry about where I can go for my next meal that isn’t a huge inconvenience. I also don’t think about anything other than getting internet, which is supposed to happen today or tomorrow, but since it’s China I’m trying not to get my hopes up.

My expectation was that since I had already lived in Nanjing, I already had things figured out. I haven’t felt like going out and exploring this new area because I thought of this as “coming back again” not as “coming back anew” and it irks me that I have to relearn everything: where to buy fruit, where to bank, where I can get free WiFi. I quickly realized that my new home is pretty far away from everywhere I’ve needed and wanted to go, even for groceries, so I have decided to buy a bike. The thought of biking in Nanjing totally freaks me out, but I think that it’s necessary.

To be honest, my first week here was miserable. I get choked up thinking about how badly I wanted to go home. This is my sixth year living so far from my family and friends—it will be my sixth Rosh Hashanah without Grama Minnie’s apple cake, my sixth Thanksgiving without my family, my sixth year of missing birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, graduations, and the little things that other 20-somethings who live close to home get to experience. I know that I’m lucky that I get to live abroad and have different, unique opportunities, but I still get that nagging feeling like something is missing. Especially considering that after this summer I could have said, “screw China” and remained in the states, (probably) employed and close to home, this transition was even more difficult than I could have ever anticipated.

That being said, I’m back. And I can’t complain about how much I want to go home when this year is filled with possibilities. I have loved seeing all my friends from last year, and one of my close Grinnell friends, Evan, moved in with me last week. I am already getting psyched for my first upcoming holiday break. I can’t wait to start lesson planning and to meet my students. I am excited for what this year holds, but I’m also afraid that I won’t take advantage of my time here. I’ve been so reluctant to leave my comfort zone in my first week back: I am yet to explore the campus and surrounding areas. So readers, hold me accountable! If I’m not updating with awesome stories on the regular, tell me to get my butt out of my apartment…

China Doll signing off the first of many posts to come!